


the feeling complete

by withoutwords



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Original Character(s), a sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 21:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18060485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: The first time they meet her she’s screaming so much her cheeks are fiery red. Aaron's crying his eyes out, and Robert’s trying to breathe and the moment seems impossible. It’s not, though, it’s happening.They finally have their baby.





	the feeling complete

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something about the Sugden Dingles getting their baby and scenes from their life as a family. Thanks for reading! X

The first time they meet her she’s screaming so much her cheeks are fiery red. Aaron's crying his eyes out, and Robert’s trying to breathe and the moment seems impossible. It’s not, though, it’s happening.

They finally have their baby.

“A screamer,” Robert says, with tears of his own now. “Already taking after her aunty.”

Aaron gives him a watery scoff. “Oh, yeah? Which one?”

“Both.”

Her head is cradled in Aaron's palm, the other hand holding her bottom. She slowly calms, and gurgles, her eyes squeezed shut as though the world's too much to face. Robert's heart seizes, knowing he'll do anything he can to make sure nothing ever hurts her.

“So,” he says softly, kissing Aaron's shoulder. “Are we decided? On the name?”

“Yeah.” He gives her a few more little bounces, quieting her altogether. “Welcome to the world, Zoe Sugden-Dingle. We love you so, so much.”

 

*

 

It's different this time, Robert knows. There's no uncertainty, or undue stress; he’s not looking over his shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is it. Aaron's his, and Zoe’s theirs, and nothing can change that. No one can hurt them.

They've only got to work hard for each other.

“I forgot what this feels like,” Robert grumbles into Aaron’s chest, huddled together on the couch.

“What?”

“Being so tired you can barely talk.”

Aaron laughs. Sort of. He makes a sound with as much energy as he can muster. “Yeah. Aren't newborns supposed to sleep a lot?”

“S'posed to. Seb didn’t much either.”

“Must be your fault.”

Robert's too tired to argue. “Mmmhmm, sure.”

 

*

 

Seb’s not sure about her. Zoe gurgles at him, wide eyed, and Seb looks at her like she's some strange kind of animal that hasn't been discovered yet. He mostly keeps his distance, running around the house yelling, “Baby, baby, baby,”. Liv films it, and adds some Justin Bieber song in the background.

Robert’s not amused.

“He's only 2,” Aaron reassures him, taking Zoe for a bottle and a nap. “He'll get used to her.”

“I want him to _love_ her,”

“He will. She's his sister. We both know how special that is.”

Robert sighs. He knows his own messed up family history is probably clouding his judgement. It wouldn't be the first time. “Yeah,” he concedes. “I know.”

Aaron's grinning like he thinks it's ridiculous to worry, but he’s kind enough not to say it. “I’ll get her down, and you get Seb ready for Rebecca. She'll be back soon.”

Robert accepts his kiss, then kisses Zoe too, and then heads into the yard to find his son. Liv’s probably moved on to Harry Styles or something by now.

 

*

 

Half the village have been demanding to babysit. Diane, Vic, Chas and Paddy, sure – but Marlon, Moira, Bernice… it never ends. And Zoe is getting older now, bigger and better with sleep; she's even started on solid foods. There’s no reason she can’t stay with other people. It's her dads that have the problem.

“What if she cries and she needs us,” Aaron worries. “Or she gets sick, and our car breaks down, and we can’t get to her?”

“Okay, so we're onto worst case scenarios now,” Vic says with an eyeroll.

“Plus,” Robert cuts in. “There's just so much to know, her routine and her likes and dislikes, we don’t want you to have to worry about it when we’re more than capable - "

Vic interrupts. “Huh! How long do you think you can keep this up. Alternating work days, taking her to the scrap yard, not to mention waking up every hour through the night. You’re soft in the head!”

“Thanks a lot!”

“I’m just saying… there's plenty of people around you who have kids, have experience, can help.”

“We know,” Aaron says. “We do, we just.”

He looks at Robert. So gentle, so open, it warms Robert's chest. “We just want a little more time. Just us.”

 

*

 

There are days where Zoe sleeps, and eats and smiles and chats. There are easy, carefree days, where nothing goes wrong and everything just falls into place. Then there are days like this:

The whole kitchen is covered in food, and dirty dishes, and rubbish. Aaron’s doing laps of the house while Zoe screams, and Robert's putting another load of washing into the machine because there’s not a single clean shirt for either of them to be found.

They’re hungry, and frustrated and exhausted and when Robert says, “If you’d put the basket in the laundry like I asked,” it sets off the biggest fight they’ve had in months.

Aaron hisses all his own accusations, and Robert scoffs and pulls faces, and if Zoe hadn’t been perched on Aaron’s shoulder they'd probably be screaming the place down.

“Okay, okay,” Robert says when he sees Aaron wipe a shaking hand at his face. At this point he can’t even remember why they’re fighting. “Bloody hell, I’m sorry, alright, I’m sorry.”

He goes to take the baby from Aaron, to give him a moment, but he pulls away. “I’m fine.”

“No you're not. Give her to me and go have a shower, a nap, whatever you like.”

Aaron’s whole body seems to deflate after a moment, looking down at Zoe then peering back at Robert. “Are you sure?”

“Course. Come on.”

“Okay.” He passes her over, a quick little movement that they do so easily now.

“Thanks.”

“Aaron?” Robert calls, and Aaron turns as he gets to the bottom of the stairs. “I love you.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. “Love you too.”

 

*

 

Robert’s never seen Liv so besotted. He’s glad for Aaron but also, selfishly, glad that she loves Zoe as the baby he and Aaron hoped for together. That she loves Robert that way too. He’s her family, he knows that – but some family you just can’t choose.

Robert thinks she’d choose him, now.

“Do you ever think about what she'll be like when she grows up?” Liv asks Robert, Zoe on her blanket on the floor and Liv tickling her tummy.

“Course. All the time.”

“I think she'll be tough. Like, way tougher than me.”

“Tougher than you!” Robert scoffs. “Good luck to me, then.”

Liv slaps at him. “Shut up. I just mean, she'll know what she wants and she'll just go out and get it. She won’t let people get her down.”

Robert watches her for a moment, watches her pull faces and coo and tickle at Zoe’s toes. It aches a little, a lot, and Robert tells her, “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve been through hell and back and you’re still going strong.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely. You’re gonna finish school, you’ve got a job, you and Aaron are closer than ever – that takes a lot of strength.”

Her cheeks are flushed now, and the light catches her glassy eyes. It’s quiet when she says, “Thanks,” but he knows she means it more than she ever has.

 

*

 

It’s really late. The sort of late Robert had begun to think had never existed. He's not sure why he’s awake, or why Aaron rolls over to him when Robert starts rubbing circles at his hips – but here they are, half naked and half hard and kissing like teenagers at 2am.

Maybe he’s dreaming.

“Robert,” Aaron murmurs between kisses, their legs tangled and Robert's fingernails scratching patterns in Aaron's back. They may be deprived, horny thirty-somethings but their erratic pulsing isn’t going to be enough to get them off. “Robert, fuck me.”

They've tried to make time for this, for just each other, but it doesn’t happen enough these days. (They’ve never been able to get enough.)

Robert takes his time, gets his mouth all over Aaron’s body while Aaron grabs and pulls at his hair. He's stretched out, wrung out, and beautiful, and Robert still can’t get used to it after all these years.

This is all his.

“Please, please, please,” Aaron whimpers when Robert presses a third finger inside him. Robert hushes him and Aaron bites his lip, and Robert does everything in his power to keep going.

He so wants to keep going.

Then Zoe cries.

“Fuuuuuck,” Aaron yells at the ceiling, and Robert would laugh if he wasn’t so bitterly disappointed.

“Don't you dare move,” he warns Aaron as he moves to quickly clean up. “You’re staying right there, and you’re staying awake, and I'll be right back.”

Aaron just curses at the ceiling again.

 

*

 

The first time they leave her overnight is with Diane and Vic. It’s the longest they'll have ever been without her – they have some business in Leeds and know it isn’t fair to take her.

It feels unfair not to.

“You know she'll be alright,” Vic tells Robert, while Aaron’s in the kitchen running through everything with Diane. Again.

“Yeah, we know, we trust you, just,” Robert trails off. Just what? It feels like cutting off a limb? It feels like you’re not your whole self, and you don’t know if you’ll function properly without her? It’s all a little silly.

“I get it,” Vic says, and she doesn’t, yet, but she means well.

“Thanks.” When Robert pulls out of their driveway, later, Aaron’s wiping at tears.

“God,” he says, like he’s chastising himself.

“It's okay,” Robert promises, reaching a hand to clasp at his shoulder. “I get it. Cry if you have to.”

Aaron's soft laugh turns into something a little crazy, before he’s blubbering all over Robert's hand. “I miss her already.”

“Me too.”

 

*

 

If Robert had known first birthday parties were as serious as weddings, he would have taken Zoe away for the weekend. Birthday-eloped. Instead he’s choosing food, and guests, and decorations, and whether or not they should do a tea party or a candy bar or a cake smash.

This has become his life.

“She’s not even going to remember it!” he tries to argue with Aaron, but it's no use. He’d have bought her a thousand dollar doll house if he’d had his way.

“No, but we will! And we’ll have photos to show her when she grows up.”

Robert didn’t push it. It wasn’t that he was against planning a party for their daughter – it just felt a little showy. Which wasn’t them at all. Aaron had almost talked Robert into ditching their ties on their wedding day.

“Are you sure this is just a party?” Robert asks gently when Aaron’s up late poring over kids food magazines.

“What do you mean?”

“You just seem to be going all out for this, and don’t get me wrong,” he adds hastily as Aaron looks fit to argue, “I'm looking forward to it… I just don’t want you to run yourself into the ground doing all this.”

“I’m not,” he starts to say, then obviously realises he sounds defensive and starts again. “I'm not, I promise. I just want it to be really special. I want her to feel as loved and adored as she can. I don't… I don’t want her to ever forget it.”

Robert sits down next to Aaron, closing the book he has open. They’d both grown up without this – a family, a home, belonging. They were ending the cycle.

“She won't forget. We will never let her forget.”

Robert kisses him, slow and warm and holding on. He wants it to say, you have that too. You are loved, you are adored, you belong here in our home.

You complete this family.

 

*

 

Zoe’s first word was Dada. They'd been repeating it over and over to her, _Dad_ , _Dad_ , _Dad_ , _Dad_ , hoping that it would stick. She was eight months and ten days and it just bubbled out like nothing as she sat in her high chair and made art with her veggies.

“Dada,” she said, and Aaron dropped his fork, and Robert left a trail of suds from the sink as he rushed over.

“What did you say, ZoZo?” Aaron cooed, “Did you say Dada? Dada?”

“Dada,” she said again, giggling when Robert and Aaron clapped and cheered, hugging each other stupidly. “Dada, Dada, Dada.”

“Okay, but who's Dada?” Robert asked when the celebrations had worn down. “One of us has to be something different. Daddy? Papa?”

Aaron scrunched up his face and watched Zoe smear pumpkin in her hair. “Yeah. You’re right. Well. I’m definitely Dada.”

“Oh of course you are.”

“Plus,” Aaron said with a grin, moving backwards and away. “You’re old, so you have to be Papa.”

Robert lunged for him, then for a towel, chasing him around the house while Zoe squealed excitedly.

“Dada, Dada, Dada.”

One day soon she’d learn to say Papa, and it would be just as perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://thefancyspin.tumblr.com)


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